


Of Orgasms and Ampersands

by WhatLocked



Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: First Time, Implied Sexual Activity, M/M, Mention of destruction to a pair of jeans, The history of the Ampersand, The return of deleted facts, This is a result of boring family get togethers!, Virgin!Lock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 19:18:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4361138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatLocked/pseuds/WhatLocked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Did you know that the ampersand, or that funny little character that represents the word and, used to be the 27th letter of the alphabet?”</p><p>After several months of foreplay recently concluding into the most explosive sex he had ever had in his life John was not prepared for Sherlock to utter those words once his breathing regulated itself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Orgasms and Ampersands

**Author's Note:**

> I would just like to let all of you lovely little people know that my mind is practically a large basin full of totally and utterly useless facts. Unfortunately, I do not have Sherlock's ability to delete said facts, so instead, I shall share some of them with you. Enjoy my little lovelies and be thankful that you are not currently in the middle of a five-day long family "thing" that mainly consists of people over the age of 60!
> 
> NTW

“Did you know that the ampersand, or that funny little character that represents the word _and_ , used to be the 27th letter of the alphabet?”

After several months of foreplay recently concluding into the most explosive sex he had ever had in his life, John was not prepared for Sherlock to utter those words once his breathing regulated itself.

“Umm, no.  Can’t say that I did” he answered, not sure where this conversation was going, whether it was a build up to Sherlock confessing how good he thought the sex had been and he was now content, if not thoroughly rhapsodic, about finally ending his 35 year-long celibacy by consummating the relationship that everyone, except the two of them, knew that they were already in or of it was some abstract way of Sherlock telling John that they had just made the biggest mistakes of their lives and if John would kindly remove himself from Sherlock’s bed he would appreciate it if this was never spoken of ever again, thank you very much!

“Really?” Sherlock asked, sounding slightly surprised and slightly dazed at the same time.  “The shape of the character comes from Rome when scribes would write _et_ , joining the two letters together as they wrote in a cursive hand” he continued.  “Over time the Latin word _et_ was transformed into the _and_ in the English language.  When children would recite the alphabet it would be _X Y Z_ and per se _AND_ , because saying _X Y Z_ and _AND_ just sounds ridiculous, the ‘per se’ meaning _by itself._   Well, gradually the _and-per-se-AND_ slurred together forming the word _Ampersand_ , so the word itself is actually incorrect, the result of mistaken pronunciation forming an actual word, or a Mondegreen if you will.

“The letter fell out of favour in the early to mid 1800’s, around the same time that that ridiculous alphabet song was copyrighted to Mozart’s _Ah vous dirai-je, Maman_.”

John laid with Sherlock’s head on his chest waiting for the conclusion of this particular conversation.  When it appeared that no conclusion was forthcoming John decided to continue, cautiously.

‘Okayyy.  And why do you know this?”

John could feel Sherlock’s relaxed face transform into a small frown against his chest.  “I don’t know” he said, clearly confused.   “I’m pretty sure I deleted it in fifth grade, straight after I learnt it.”

John contemplated Sherlock’s words for a bit, still trying to determine their meaning, because god forbid Sherlock, who normally has no qualms in telling people what he thinks, be open about how he actually  _feels_. “So, you are now recalling this information because…?”

There was nothing but the steady sounds of their breathing and the lazy traffic outside of 221B.  Finally Sherlock spoke.

“It appears that reaching orgasm as a result of mind-blowing sex reboots parts of my brain bringing up small, useless and unimportant facts that I thought were long gone.”

It was a full two seconds before John burst into laughter.  At this Sherlock’s grip on John’s shoulder increased and John was sure he felt that frown furrow on his brow just a bit more.

“It’s not funny, John” Sherlock grumbled, pushing his face further into John’s sternum, as if trying to hide away from the mortification of knowing something banal and pedestrian as the origins of the  _ampersand_.  Tears were now freely falling down John’s cheeks as he chuckled heartily, his embrace tightening around his consulting detective.

“Yes” he laughed, “It really is.”  Eventually the chuckles dissolved into sporadic but short giggles and then those dissolved into a grin that stretched John’s lips to their limits.  After a few more moments of silence John’s grin relaxed as did his hold on Sherlock.  In return Sherlock’s hold on John’s shoulder lessened and he turned his face away from John’s chest and he looked across the room, hoping to find answers in the darkness as to why this had happened.  His thoughts were interrupted by John bringing his fingers up to card through Sherlock’s hair as he asked, “So, what other things have you deleted?”

Sherlock frowned as he did a quick run through his mind palace searching for any other useless facts or boring bits of information that may or may not have returned from their, apparently not so permenant, exile. “I don’t remember” he finally replied somewhat relieved that he could, so far, find nothing.

After six of John’s heartbeats the doctor beneath him spoke again.  “Would you like to try to?”

Just at the thought of the meaning of John’s words, Sherlock could feel his cock twitching back to life again.  “Why, Doctor Watson, you surprise me.  So soon?” he said with a grin.

By the time the sun rose John knew, in addition to the ampersand being the 27th letter of the alphabet, that some ancient Greeks wouldn’t eat beans as they feared they contained the souls of the dead; Saturn is 1 433 000 000 km from the sun and has an orbital period of 29 years; Only 6 people were injured in the Great Fire of London in 1666; 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 and that Denim has a much higher resistnace to heat than any of John’s other clothes which explains the reason John only has four pairs of jeans now instead of five.

 It was after that fact, and a rather intense glare from John, that Sherlock announced “John, we should probably try and get some sleep now.”


End file.
